| Warami Middigar (Welcome friends)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Armouring Up
In every space I’ve walked lately — from boardrooms to classrooms — I’ve felt it.
That moment when things get uncomfortable, people begin to armour up.
For many
Non-Indigenous allies
, this armour shows up as
deflection
,
over-explaining
, or
retreating
— often rooted in fear of “getting it wrong,” or being judged. It’s a form of self-protection. Understandable… but it creates distance. It closes the door to growth.
For
Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples
, our armour is different. We often
armour up to be seen or heard
. To be safe. To not have our truths dismissed or our presence misunderstood. It’s not about avoidance — it’s about survival. I found myself there just this week. Unconsciously, I too had armoured up to prove I deserved to be in the space. Because too often, when we let ourselves be soft, we’re met with silence, ignorance or fragility in return. This dance of defence and disconnection is exhausting. It keeps us circling safety instead of walking toward real change. I’m thankful that I had a colleague and friend there to call me on my own armour.
If we want to build bridges though, we need to notice the armour — in ourselves and each other. And then, slowly and intentionally, begin to put it down.
That’s the invitation this month. To name the fears. To stay when it gets hard. To lead, not with certainty, but with care. Because
belonging doesn’t happen when we’re polished — it happens when we’re present
.
Marri ngubadygu (big love),
Tammy
|
|
|
|
|
Igniting the Spark — What Happens When We Armour Up
The spark of true allyship is often dulled by an invisible force:
fear
. Fear of offending. Fear of being wrong. Fear of being called out and so, the armour goes on. But the cost of that armour is disconnection. It distances us — from truth, from growth, and from one another.
That’s why this edition, we’re sharing the
Ally Safe Behaviours Self-Assessment
. It’s a simple yet powerful tool to help you reflect on the
unspoken behaviours
that either open or close space for respectful, culturally safe relationships.
🟡 Do I centre my intent or others’ impact?
🟡 Do I avoid discomfort, or lean in?
🟡 Am I acting in solidarity, or seeking approval?
This resource isn’t about shame — it’s about choice. About choosing to walk with more clarity, responsibility, and courage.
Because real allyship isn’t fragile — it’s forged in fire.
There’s also a MOB Only document
too that supports this resource. Be sure to download each file on the right.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Upcoming Professional Learning
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
8 October - Cultivating Inclusive Environments
This isn’t just another DEI session. It’s a calling-in.
In this workshop,
we won’t just talk about inclusion
— we’ll unpack what it feels like, what it looks like, and how to make it real in everyday interactions, decisions, and systems.
We’ll explore the deep roots of
Cultural Intelligence
:
✨ Recognising bias without armouring up.
✨ Holding space across difference with empathy.
✨ Moving from intention to integrity through an understanding of diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging.
Whether you’re an educator, a leader, a practitioner, or someone who simply wants to show up better — this is for you.
Come ready to reflect. To listen. To stretch. Let’s make inclusion more than a word — let’s make it a way of being.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
From Defence to Depth
We all carry armour. For
Non-Indigenous allies
, it often shows up as
intellectualising, overexplaining
, or
withdrawing
— armour built to protect against discomfort, fear of saying the wrong thing, or being seen as complicit. For
Indigenous peoples
, the armour can be h
ypervigilance
,
overperformance
, or
withholding truth
— a shield worn to be seen, to be safe, to not be further harmed.
This looks like:
For Non-Indigenous Peoples:
Intellectualising
-
Responding to harm with academic theories instead of empathy: “That’s an interesting socio-political perspective…”
-
Debating terminology instead of acknowledging someone’s lived experience.
-
Shifting the focus to “policy” or “process” rather than pausing to reflect on impact.
Over-explaining
-
Justifying a lack of action: “I meant well, I just didn’t know how…”
-
Explaining away harm: “It wasn’t personal,” or “I’ve always done it this way.”
-
Talking too much in spaces meant for listening.
Withdrawing
-
Going silent after feedback or truth-telling.
-
Opting out of conversations that feel “too heavy.”
-
Avoiding invitations to deepen the work because it feels overwhelming.
For Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Peoples:
Hypervigilance
-
Reading the room constantly to anticipate harm.
-
Feeling unable to relax in meetings, always “on.”
-
Avoiding vulnerability because it hasn’t been safe before.
Overperformance
-
Being overly prepared, polished, and accommodating to avoid critique.
-
Feeling pressure to represent “all Indigenous people” flawlessly.
-
Saying yes to things out of obligation, not capacity.
Withholding Truth
-
Softening language or feedback to avoid backlash.
-
Not correcting misinformation because it feels unsafe to do so.
-
Staying quiet in unsafe spaces, even when something needs to be said
.… I wonder, what does this armouring costing us?
When we lead with defence, we lose the ability to connect. When we brace ourselves, we close off the very relationships we’re trying to build. Tending the fire means softening the edges. It means recognising when fear is driving our behaviour — and choosing courage anyway.
It’s a daily, relational practice of:
-
Listening without waiting to defend.
-
Feeling the heat… and staying in the room.
-
Letting care be stronger than control.
-
Being in rhythm with Country to be present and aware.
The fire doesn’t need our perfection. It needs our willingness to sit beside it, exposed and human.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Discomfort as a Compass: Unarmouring from the Inside Out
Here we use one of the card’s in the ‘Our Systems, Our Stories’ card packs. One side includes the dominate story that we’re all often conditioned with, while the other leads with Indigenous Ways.
-
DOMINANT STORY: “Let’s not make it uncomfortable.”
Comfort becomes a shield. Systems centre the emotional safety of the dominant group — while justice, truth, and connection are quietly sidelined.
-
INDIGENOUS WAYS: “Growth lives in discomfort.”
Indigenous transformation calls us into discomfort — not to wound, but to wake. Healing begins with truth. And truth requires courage.
But courage is not loud. It’s not performative. It’s not a declaration. It’s daily.
Observable Behaviours of
Courageous Comfort
Here’s what you might see when someone is un-armoured, willing, and ready to walk a different way…
| Behaviour
|
What This Looks Like
|
| Sits with hard truths without needing to rescue or fix
|
“Thank you for sharing that. I’m sitting with it — and I’ll keep reflecting on what that means for me.”
|
|
Names harm, even when others don’t
|
“I want to pause. What was just said could be harmful. Can we sit with that before moving on?”
|
|
Stays present when challenged
|
Maintains eye contact, body language is open, tone is steady. “I hear you — and I want to learn from this.”
|
|
Interrupts defensiveness (in self and others)
|
“I noticed I got defensive just then. That’s mine to work on.” Or: “Let’s not dismiss that — it matters.”
|
|
Chooses relational repair over reputational protection
|
Follows up after harm has occurred. Asks: “What do you need from me now?”
|
|
Normalises discomfort in the process of growth
|
“This isn’t easy — and that’s okay. Change is meant to stretch us.”
|
|
Models self-accountability publicly
|
“I’ve learnt something new that’s changed how I approach this. I was wrong before. Here’s what I’m doing now.”
|
|
Shares power by stepping back strategically
|
“I’d like to hand over now to those with lived experience — they’re best placed to speak to this.”
|
|
Amplifies truth — not just stories
|
Quotes Indigenous thought leaders, references frameworks, and always cites sources when sharing content.
|
|
Acts, not just absorbs
|
Doesn’t wait for ‘the perfect time’ — implements small, sustained shifts in decision-making, language, and resource flow.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
When we talk about
creating safer spaces
, this is what it looks like. Not comfort at all costs. Not bypassing what’s hard. But courage woven into the everyday. Not once. Not perfectly. But consistently. Because if comfort is our highest priority — change will never come.
Let’s stop armouring up. Let’s choose
courageous comfort
— in the service of something greater than ourselves.
|
|
|
|
|
This work isn’t light — but neither are we. Remember, this is something I too need to work on.
Every time we unarmour, every time we choose courage over comfort, we make space for something more honest, more human, more connected. This month has reminded us that disconnection isn’t always loud — sometimes it hides behind politeness, perfectionism, silence, or intellectual debate. But so does reconnection. It lives in the cracks. The deep listening. The everyday choices.
If this edition stirred something in you — a memory, a discomfort, a question — I invite you to sit with it, not scroll past it. That’s where the shift begins.
Until next time,
Keep walking, with courage and care.
Yanma Budyari Gumada — go well, walk with good spirit.
Tamm y
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
