| Warami Middigar (Welcome friends)
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Unconscious Extraction: When the Doing Becomes the Taking
I’ve seen quite a bit of late of a type of harm that often goes unnoticed in allyship spaces. It’s quiet. Unintentional. But deeply felt.
I call it the kind that happens when people come to learn, to connect, to ‘do better’… but leave without staying long enough to build relationship, to reciprocate, or to carry the responsibility that comes with the learning.
It’s when stories are heard but not honoured. When cultural knowledge is used as inspiration, not instruction. When questions are asked but the weight of the answers isn’t held.
I’ve noticed this lately in small but telling ways — when quotes from Indigenous professionals are sought, but never followed up. When feedback is requested, but never acted upon. When, for example posts, infographics, or posters are reshared without context, without citation, and without any deeper engagement for education, training, or workshops.
It may not be intentional. But intent doesn’t replace impact. These moments matter — not because we expect thanks or applause, but because they reveal where allyship ends: at the point of convenience. And more often than not, it’s not done with malice — but with a mindset shaped by systems that reward speed, solutions, and self-gain over slow care, community, and accountability.
So this fortnight, I’m sitting with the question:
Are we in this work to become better people — or to become more whole communities?
Because real change doesn’t happen through extraction. It happens through connection and exchange. Through commitment. Through walking together — even when it’s uncomfortable. Especially then.
Let’s keep tending to the ways we show up. And keep asking: Am I taking more than I’m giving? Or am I contributing to something greater than myself?
Marri ngubadygu (big love),
Tammy
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Unconscious Extraction — Would You Know If You Were Doing It?
Most people don’t intend to extract from Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples.
But when you’ve been raised in systems built on taking, it’s easy to repeat those behaviours (without giving it another thought) — especially when they’re disguised as curiosity, good intentions, or allyship.
Unconscious extraction can look like:
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Attending a one-off workshop, sharing a few insights, but making no systemic or personal change.
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Seeking emotional or cultural labour without offering reciprocity, relationship, or repair.
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Asking Aboriginal colleagues for input on Reconciliation or inclusion… without recognising that as emotional or cultural labour.
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Requesting feedback from a Blak consultant or educator… then going silent when a quote or invoice follows.
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Sharing content or perspectives from mob in reports, meetings, or presentations — without credit or engagement.
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Encouraging children to engage with NAIDOC events… but not continuing those conversations year-round.
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Displaying Indigenous artwork or flags… but not knowing the story behind them, or the artist's name.
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Asking mob to attend events, panels, or school talks “for representation” — without relational preparation or ongoing involvement.
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Expecting access to Country, stories, or language without invitation or protocol.
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Engaging mob for advice “over coffee” — instead of hiring them properly and compensating them for their time and wisdom.
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Asking for a Welcome to Country — but offering no payment or staying silent during the ceremony.
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Referring to “connection to Country” in speeches — while continuing to support practices that damage land and culture.
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Posting an Indigenous graphic or quote — but disengaging from mob when real conversation begins in the comments.
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Speaking about “walking together”… but only doing so when it feels easy or publicly recognised
These are not edge cases. They are the everyday. And if they feel familiar — good.
It means you’re paying attention. You also might not notice it happening. But mob feel it. Every time.
Before you share, quote, invite, or engage — pause and ask…
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Am I taking without tending?
Have I paused to consider the relational impact
of using this knowledge, image, or voice? Have I reciprocated — with credit, payment, or continued relationship?
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Am I centring myself in someone else’s story?
Is my desire to “support” or “amplify” really about me
feeling included, safe, or seen — rather than truly centring Indigenous perspectives?
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Have I confused proximity with permission?
Just because I’ve been in Indigenous spaces, know someone Aboriginal, or was given a resource — doesn’t mean I have blanket permission to use or share it freely.
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Am I defaulting to the quickest path?
Have I copied and pasted something for a meeting, PD or post — instead of taking the time to engage with it meaningfully or invite mob into the conversation?
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Would I still engage if it cost me something?
Would I still support this Indigenous initiative, voice, or truth — if it challenged my role, asked me to change, or meant stepping aside so someone else could step forward?
These five questions aren’t here to shame. They’re here to help you walk differently. With more awareness. More integrity. And more courage. Because allyship isn’t just about what you say. It’s about how you show up — and what you leave behind.
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Upcoming Professional Learning
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18 September - Bridging Hearts & Culture
Join us for the third workshop in our transformative five-part series on Cultural Intelligence Education.
This interactive workshop explores the intersection of Emotional Intelligence (EI) and Cultural Intelligence (CQ), with a special focus on improving communication and understanding of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples.
Key Highlights:
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Self-awareness: Identify emotional triggers and cultural assumptions to foster mindful, respectful interactions.
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Empathy & Listening: Improve active listening skills and develop empathy for diverse cultural perspectives.
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Respectful Expression: Learn to communicate clearly and respectfully across cultures.
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Critical Conversations: Gain tools for handling sensitive discussions with confidence and empathy.
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8 October - Cultivating Inclusive Environments
The fourth workshop goes beyond acknowledgment to focus on intentional action, cultural humility, and systemic change in creating inclusive spaces for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples. It offers practical tools and strategies to move from awareness to meaningful inclusion in workplaces, schools, and communities.
Key Highlights:
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Understanding Inclusion:
Define what makes an environment inclusive and explore why Indigenous peoples often feel excluded.
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Breaking Barriers:
Identify and address systemic and interpersonal barriers to inclusion.
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Cultural Safety:
Learn how to build culturally safe spaces where Indigenous voices are respected and influential.
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Allyship in Action:
Understand the ongoing role of allies in supporting Indigenous inclusion by amplifying voices and challenging norms.
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| Beyond the Content
(for educators)
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In our recent session with passionate educators, we moved beyond surface-level inclusion and into the deep work of reimagining classrooms through Indigenous lenses.
Together, we explored:
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Country as First Teacher – Recognising that learning begins with relationship — to land, seasons, cycles, and community — and not just curriculum.
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Translating Two Worlds – Unpacking the differences between Western and Indigenous worldviews, and how these shape not just what we teach, but how students make meaning, connect, and thrive.
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Shifting the Lens – Learning how to embed Indigenous pedagogies like the 8 Ways of Learning into everyday practice — not as add-ons, but as frameworks that honour narrative, kinship, and place.
This was more than a PD — it was an invitation to walk differently for educators and go beyond curriculum integration.
Want to bring this workshop to your school or team? Reach out to see how we can tailor it for your context.
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From Silence to Action: A Framework for Allyship
Fire doesn’t stay alight on its own — it needs tending and so does allyship. Reconciliation isn’t a slogan, a report, or a single week of activity. It’s a cycle of deep practice — one that asks us to show up differently, listen deeply, speak truths that unsettle, and act even when it’s uncomfortable.
Too often, the hard parts get skipped. We see engagement without relationship. Truth-telling without action. Delays that stretch into timelines spanning centuries — while inequality is made to look “acceptable.”
This new framework makes it plain:
⚫ Relationship without responsibility is not allyship — it’s extraction.
⚫ Listening without action is not truth-telling — it’s harm.
⚫ Timelines that delay justice are not reconciliation — they’re managed injustice.
Allyship asks more of us.
It asks us to:
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Show up in relationships with integrity.
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Honour resistance, ceremony, and continuity — because survival is resistance.
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Recognise that inaction is harm. Delay is a decision.
The question isn’t just what you believe — it’s what you do. What kind of ancestor will you be? Let this framework be a mirror, a map, and a matchstick. It's time to move from silence to action.
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Allyship starts where comfort ends. Action begins with awareness.
We can’t change what we won’t name — and this month, we’re naming unconscious extraction. It’s subtle. It’s everyday. And it’s more common than we’d like to admit.
Whether it’s:
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Sharing Indigenous quotes without acknowledging the speaker or inviting deeper learning,
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Asking for feedback and disappearing when it’s offered,
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Using culturally inspired visuals without embedding the wisdom behind them, or
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Calling on First Nations people when it’s convenient — but not investing in long-term learning, growth or relationship…
These are all forms of extraction, not allyship.
So what can we do?
Here are 4 small but powerful shifts you can make this month:
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Name the Source.
Give proper attribution for Indigenous ideas, art, language and frameworks — in conversations, documents, and digital spaces.
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Move at the speed of relationship.
Don’t rush to ‘tick the box.’ Ask: Have I earned the right to this insight?
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Trade curiosity for commitment.
Don’t just consume — contribute. Engage in training, pay for knowledge, offer reciprocity.
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Close the loop.
If you’ve sought input or guidance, follow up. Let people know what happened next. That’s respect.
✨ Every small act shapes culture.
✨ Every moment is a chance to leave something better behind.
This fortnight’s invitation:
Pick one
thing to do differently. One way to honour without extracting. Then do it again.
That’s how the fire of allyship keeps burning.
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Some conversation starters this week…
At Work
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“When was the last time we used Indigenous knowledge or voices in our work — and did we seek permission or offer reciprocity?”
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“Are we building relationships that centre responsibility — or ones that rely on convenience?”
At Home
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“What does our family understand about Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander culture — and where did that understanding come from?”
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“Are we talking about Country, not just visiting it? What stories do we carry when we walk on it?”
In Community
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“Whose voice is missing from this conversation — and why?”
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“Are we creating inclusive spaces, or just expecting others to fit into existing ones?”
Self-Reflection
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“When I share something from an Indigenous voice, do I cite it clearly — or assume it speaks for me?”
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“Have I ever confused appreciation with entitlement? What can I do to shift that?”
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Thank you for walking this journey with me. Whether you’re just beginning or deep in the work, your presence here matters.
Every share, every yarn, every shift in behaviour — it all adds up. We’re not here to tick boxes. We’re here to build something better, together.
🪃 If this edition stirred something in you — reach out.
🖤 If your team or school is ready for deeper work — let’s connect.
🔥 If you’re not sure where to start — we can walk that path side by side.
Until next time,
Yanma Budyari Gumada — go well, walk with good spirit.
Tamm y
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